Saturday, September 19, 2009

Cabs and Planes.

For some reason I always feel safe in a taxi, the driver could be driving like a maniac and swerving through red lights, but I think, "Well, he's got a Cab Drivers License. He must know what he's doing, he's a professional." What qualifications do you need to become a taxi driver? I think a face is all you need. We will have no blank faces behind the wheel of cab. I think the only other qualification you need beside a face is a name with about six consonants in a row in it. What does the circle with the line through it mean? What planet does that come from? You need a periodic table to report the guy. "Yes, his name was Akmal, with the symbol for Boron."
What annoys me about the airport, it the price of everything in the stores. "Yes that's right, $15.50 for a tuna sandwich."
And on the plane, how they show you how to to put on your life jacket, and they show you how to put on the seat belt. Even if it is your first on a plane, it's pretty easy to put on the belt, do they think when they tell people how to put them on, they're saying. "Oh, you have to press the button to undo the belt, I was going to break the metal apart, or tear the fabric, if I could only get it started."
And when they tell you that if there is an accident, just put on your life jacket and you'll be right. If they were being realistic they'd say, "In the unlikely result of an accident, we'll likely go into the ground like a fucking dart."

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