Saturday, September 19, 2009

Horse Racing.

I never really have much to do, so I'm always up for suggestions for things to do, and the other day, my uncle talked me into going to the track, to bet on the horses. I think the horses don't have any clue they're racing, they know the jockey must be in a hurry, but it must be confusing for the horse, because they were in a big hurry, and then they get to the end of the race, and they must be thinking, "This is the place we left from, if we just didn't leave we would've been the first ones back." And when they are going back to the shed, they wouldn't be thinking "Yes! I came first." They'd be thinking "Oat bag, I get my oat bag now." And I'm suppose to bet on these idiots. One thing I know the horses don't know, is that if they trip, and break their leg or something, they get their brains blown out, I think they're missing out on that nugget of information, if they knew that, they wouldn't be running so fast. I've been horse riding before, I'm just not good at it, and they don't give you a very good horse when you don't know how to ride. They said to me, "What level rider would you say you are?"
I said, "I don't know, zero, nothing, however the hell the system works... I can't do it, is that clear enough for you? I'm going where the horse wants to go. That's my level."
Then they go out the back and say, "Is Glue Stick back yet?"
Then I get on the back of this fat U shaped thing, it's the only horse in the joint where you could still put your feet flat on the ground while you were sitting on it... it was like I was riding a hammock. Then I'm riding this thing, and I have no clue what I'm doing, so it is just wandering around doing it's own thing, and then it just stops, and I'm going, "Oh, come on." Then it just looks up as if to say, "Yeah, I know what I'm doing Hop-a-long, I've done this track a million times... yeah, yeah, kick me a few more times while I'm taking a leak, that will help."
You know what I think is really bad about the horses life? The trailer they move them around in, with their rear ends sticking out, right in everyone's faces.
the horses are probably standing in there, talking to each other.
"Do you feel a draft Bill? I can't see anything back there, but it is awfully breezy, isn't it? You don't think our fat disgusting asses are sticking out the back of this trailer do you? Why would they do that to us? They already ride us and kick us while we're peeing, why stick our asses out of a truck?

No comments:

Post a Comment